Surf Daily

It's Here, It's Queer, And I'm Going To Surf It

Board is here!, originally uploaded by tehdely.

Finally picked up the new stick from James today. That's Jon on the left helping him hold it up.

I can not fucking wait to wax this thing up and take it out for a ride.

When I carried it into Mollusk to buy a bag, there was a brief flurry of "get a load of this!" from the employees.

One of them said "that is the gayest board I've ever seen" to which I promptly replied "yes, that's the point".

Win.

Smooth Rides (Video)

Smooth Rides, originally uploaded by tehdely.

Beautiful, tiny morning @ Kelly's. Images courtesy of ob-kc.com, music courtesy of Boney James.

Look closely near the end for a brief Cryptomail cameo.

Is Mercury in Retrograde?

via www.ismercuryinretrograde.com

This explains everything. Excellent single-serving site, by the way!

Thoughts on Stoke Report

God knows there's been enough debate lately on Stoke Report about who's behaving appropriately and who belongs where. People have to do a double-take when a bot regurgitates a bunch of it; its nonsensical prattle looks so familiar to the battle-fatigued. Today we were alerted to the fact that we're now the subject of a (somewhat scathing) blurb in this month's SURFER, the relevant parts of which I'll quote below:

On the other side of the spectrum were the Stoke Reporters–equally as, well, stoked as the Saffas, but completely lacking in skill and etiquette.  Stoke Report is a regional website that encourages Bay Area surfers to upload real-time, user-generated surf reports via their cell phones.  The result is a Twitter-esque stream of claiming from tech-savvy kooks who see Ocean Beach as a free ski resort (slowest surfer in front has right of way).  They stroll up to the dunes, take a photo, and upload it for all the desk-bound world to see, along with feel-good claims like "Sloat is going OFF right now! Get down here dude!!!"

Needless to say, the Stoke Reporters' sense of naïve entitlement is not sitting well with the aforementioned ex-con, old-school locals.  The more patient among these detractors have attempted to educate the Stoke Reporters in the complexities of surf culture via polite posts on the site's message board.  "The search is part of the fun!  Even Surfline doesn't condone spot-specific real-time reports!"  No matter how gentle and reasonable the persuasion, all detractors have been permanently banned from Stoke Report.  As a result, the natives are getting restless.  The most prolific Stoke Reporters have reportedly been identified, and the next step seems to be a more physical brand of offline, parking-lot persuasion.

Yikes! I'll avoid responding in kind; Lewis Samuels (the BSNYC of surf) is a fairly trollish writer (which is why I enjoy his work), and it would behoove me to not try to argue with him, despite the fact that he's gotten a few things wrong. Stoke Reporters typically post after-the-fact reports (not really "real-time"), and the ongoing fight between locals and reporters is, for the most part, over reporting on a handful of more sensitive spots. Most of us don't really have a dog in this fight, though now that our precious little site has gotten some (un?)deserved notoriety, it's worth it to at least share my thoughts on the matter.

I'm pretty new to surfing myself. A lot of people on SR are. There's a fundamental culture clash when a bunch of new people join an existing activity or scene, and this is particularly heightened in a city like San Francisco, whose demographics have changed pretty dramatically over the last few decades. A lot of the guys out in the avenues who surf look like the type of San Franciscan who has, for the most part, decamped to the suburbs: white, working class, Irish... Your typical Stoke Reporter is more likely to be part of the new guard of dot-com yuppies who populate the northeast corner of town, where Priuses and iPhones hold court. I might as well be the poster child for outsider-newcomer-SF-surfer: I'm not only a Jewish dot-com yuppie; I'm also a homo! For your typical, embattled Sunset District holdout, I'd probably sit right up on the grudge list next to Asians, Google, and onshores.

Needless to say, I try to practice respect. Most of us do. Samuels has painted us with a broad brush, but I'm inclined to forgive him, given that the incessant flagellation over the reporting issue has engulfed the site, and almost everyone (including myself) has at some point engaged in the debate. You'd be hard-pressed not to conclude that we're collectively advocating the inclusion of "Report on Any Break at Any Time" in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I'm of the belief that it's actually a handful of people pushing this. Likewise, a few locals have insisted on debating the opposite, to the extent that the site is nearly ruined by the constant back-and-forth over something that, for the most part, regular users don't care about, except that it go away. Things have escalated to the degree that physical threats have been made. A close friend of mine, who turned me on to surfing last year and has progressed enough in the sport that he's hitting some of the more sensitive spots in SF, has felt compelled to delete his account due to fears of stepping on the wrong toes. This is fucked.

I honestly don't know if the site will survive this drama. I'll be bummed if it goes away. Stoke Report has not only introduced me to a whole slew of people whom I now call my friends; it's also kept me going on the days when I'm "desk-bound" (as Samuels would put it) and allows me to share the joy of participation in a truly sublime activity. Some days when I paddle out I am practically overcome with gratitude for how lucky I am. I'd hate to slink into the mire of paranoia and fear that seems poised to grip our hardy clan of iPhone-wielding kooks with graduate degrees (as one commenter so kindly described us). I'll continue practicing the same brand of healthy respect that I've practiced thus far. Not only will I not report on a place like Fort Point, I won't even surf it (at least not yet)! I can barely negotiate the lineup, let alone handle the waves when they come in. I stay away, as I ought to, and stick to the places where I belong, based on my abilities. Those places include Bolinas, the Princeton Jetty (when it's not too crowded), Cowell's (I think the only thing disqualifying one from Cowell's is being too skilled), and even Ocean Beach when it's small and manageable. I will also practice good ethics in the lineup, not be a dickish wave hog, and send good vibes wherever possible. One thing I won't do, however, is be cowed into staying home, or not being who I am, because a bunch of people resent newcomers on their turf. I'm here, I'm queer, I use Linux, and I'm going to surf (poorly) whether you like it or not. I'd appreciate the only beatings that come my way be from the ocean.

Cause to be #Stoked

So, I won a surfboard last night.

Wait, let me back up.  I won a gift certificate for a custom-shaped surfboard last night.

Let me back up further.  I won said gift certificate after spending four hours with some of my friends from StokeReport and other awesome, stoked people at a fun little bar in the Outer Sunset, while we listened to dub and watched surf videos.  I also won two front-row tickets to a pre-season Giants game on Sunday, and an oversized t-shirt from Aqua.

Pretty fucking rad, no?

Listen, I'm a piss-poor surfer.  And "surf culture" is still an alien and frightening thing for me, especially insofar as it is (regrettably) tinged with homophobia, but I am thoroughly stoked to be part of a community of geeky surf pals, with whom I can definitely have a good time, whether we're bobbing around in the water or laughing at a bar (and mind you, I don't drink, so it's not alcohol talking when I say I enjoy their company).

Ever since I started surfing just last year, I've had these nebulous dreams of riding a custom-shaped shortboard, ripping it for all to see with an air of nonchalance and a tight, gray wetsuit that emphasizes all my good parts.  That's not going to happen any time soon, however.  In particular, I really never planned on getting a custom shape... not for years, easily.  I don't deserve it!  I'm not worthy!  I'd probably break it!  I wouldn't even know what I want!  I can barely ride a longboard!

Winning one changes all that.  James from Las Olas Surfboards has graciously donated a board every month, for god-knows-how-long, to be raffled off at Wet Wednesdays to benefit some charity or another (this month's charity was the Edgewood Center for Children and Families; check them out, they are rad).  James is an artist.  The boards are usually pretty, short, and highly-technical.  One of those would be wasted on me.  This week he switched it up and donated a gift certificate.

I've already told him I'm going for something in the "Funboard" range.  A notch shorter than what I'm riding right now, which is a pop-out epoxy board (made by Bic of all people), lovingly handed down from Josh.  It will be made of polyurethane and glass for that delightful "this looks so tasty I could almost eat it" look.  It will probably be white.  And it will be the gayest goddamn board that's ever been shaped.  This I can say with certainty.

I know one other gay surfer.  I know him because he had the balls to slap an HRC sticker on the bottom of his board and, when that wasn't being direct enough, supplemented it with a big ol' rainbow sticker.  We are now gay surf pals who go paddle into waves and stuff, while being gay.  Criminy.  I plan to one-up him by splattering the following text on the deck of my board:

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I may have to truncate a few Ys, depending on the length of the board, but that's more or less what I'm going for.

My board will be fun.  It will be pretty.  It will be downright fucking fabulous, and because I won it, I'm going to ride that motherfucker like I stole it.  Every day that I can.

I am really stoked to have won this board.  I look forward to seeing it and taking a goofy picture with myself holding it, for all blogosphere to see.  AYHSMB

This is why I surf :)

Google Maps "Bike Directions" - Definitely in Beta

To sum: A step in the right direction, but make sure to double-check things... and can Google really replace local knowledge?

Google's announcement of bike directions was all the buzz yesterday, so I decided to try it out for myself.

My friends know I'm particularly smug about my commute and have gone so far as to map it on Bikely, which yields a particularly enviable elevation profile:

It's no surprise that I not only enjoy my ride to work, but can usually make it in under 15 minutes (12 is my record, from a combination of really good luck with traffic lights and really pushing it).  There's also a less adrenaline-worthy 20-minute version that I do when I'm not in any particular hurry, that takes me down the "Wiggle" to 14th St. to Townsend instead.

The existence of something like the "Wiggle" represents the sort of quandary in which I'd imagine anyone trying to make automated bicycle maps would be faced.  The particular sequence of streets which allows for an easy traversal of the anticline which roughly divides the Western Addition from all points west is one of the first things any cyclist learns when he moves to San Francisco, but it isn't intuitive by any means.

San Francisco's street layout makes no qualms about its utter disrespect for the (rather dramatic) geography of the city (having been optimized instead for easy subdivision, sale, and development of property in a 19th-century boomtown), so cyclists take advantage of a bevy of local knowledge regarding how precisely to navigate the city's terrain without having a heart attack.  No map will really make this obvious, though the SF Bicycle Coalition has done their best job by producing a map which not only has the "Wiggle" on it, but also color-codes every street by grade.

Still, bicycling has a certain DIY ethic to it, and learning to ride successfully seems to require one or both of a lot of trial and error, and being inducted into a local fellowship of cyclists who can tell you all the little secrets no map will ever show you. You can cut through this parking lot here!  This street's a mess; take that alley.  Swim upstream for half a block here, you can avoid a 6-block detour.  Watch out for the drivers here. Etc. etc... Sometimes I think urban cycling requires its own form of "hobo signs":

So how good a job can a service like Google Maps do of giving acceptable bicycle directions?  I decided to have them map out my commute.  Here's what they spit out:

Link to Directions

These are some interesting directions.  Google's LatLong post about the bicycling feature makes note of how they've incorporated thousands of miles of trails and off-street paths into their maps.  In this case, they're being a bit overzealous.  Not only do they route me on a pedestrian path through Alamo Square, but it also terminates in a stairway.  Meanwhile, there is a perfectly acceptable bike lane on Fulton St. immediately next to it:

I decided to report this issue to Google, as best as I could describe it:

It seems like a little further on, they're doing the opposite, and relying too heavily on directions for automobiles.  San Francisco is currently engaged in a project to remake Market Street, which involves forced right turns for drivers at 6th St. and 8th10th St.  The purpose of these turns is to optimize the street for public transit... and cycling.  Google wants me to travel down 5th St., which is recently sharrowed as a result of the modification of the injunction against the Bike Plan (details at the SF Bike Coalition).  That's all fine and dandy, but they want me to make a right turn on 6th, and then an immediate left into an alley, just to get to 5th St.  As part of the Market St. plan, bicycles are allowed to continue on at each point where cars are forced to turn.  I'm worried that Google is probably only relying on the directions for cars at that intersection.  I've reported this to them as well:

All in all, these directions are a mixed bag.  I actually decided to take the turn at 6th St, Stevenson, and 5th St. just to see if it were doable.  It is, though I don't like having to merge across 6th St. to make a left turn (which I reported).  However, despite that routing quirk, it's at least not a fatal flaw.  Sending me down a stairway, however, is, even though I could probably negotiate it OK on the front-suspension MTB that I use as a daily commuter.

I'm sure Google will probably improve this service (it is, of course, in beta) to deal with some of the worse issues I've reported.  I wonder whether automated bicycling directions will ever really replace local knowledge, though.  I feel like I've passed some sort of trial by fire here in SF just by virtue of trying to get around a city whose geography and layout is designed to thwart you, and that some of that experience can't be transmitted or calculated or computed.  Will all that trial and error and passing of advice be replaced by an algorithm?  Time will tell.  I worry that something will be lost if it does, but if the end result is that more cyclists are on the street, I think it will have justified the means.  At some point, cycling in the US will have to shed its outlaw image... as much as I enjoy it, I also know that the true measure of safety is numbers.

If I weren't expecting this email, I'd think it was a 419

Hi Michael,


Thank you for e-mailing the Nokia Care Contact Center.

We would like to inform you that in order for us to process the refund for operator billing, kindly provide us the following information:

- Bank Name:

- Bank Address:

- Bank Account Number:

- IBAN:

- SWIFT Code:

- Bank Control Key:

- Bank Code:

- Bank ABA Routing Nr.:

This is to inform you that you can have the information above by calling your bank. Please don't send any of these information via email. Our Ovi Store support department will be calling you to get these information. Rest assured that all of the information will be kept confidential.

Sunday at Bolinas

Things started off doubled-up, crumbly, and confused around 8:30, with a strong rising tide which made for a very trying slog from Wharf Rd. to the "Groin". Anyone trying to paddle out that side of the sign was rapidly dispatched to the channel. The "Patch" was working pretty well if you could get out. That dude with the hat was ripping it on his log. You guys know who I'm talking about. Caught a few fun and short rides commensurate with my mediocre surfing ability and cashed in my chips around quarter past 10. First pic is from before.

via stokereport.com

 

 

Fair conditions at Bolinas

Softop City @ Bo. Played around in the "groin" and got sent into the channel; tried my hand at the "patch" and spent most of my time catching short rides on the inside before a lull finally came and I made it out. All that energy from this monster swell has been making it break everywhere at once, and fast. Not too big, though. Lotta first-timers, couples, and groms.

via stokereport.com